Thoughts Tonight

It's quarter to midnight and I know I'm going to regret being up this late tomorrow but everyone's in bed and the quiet is so nice. So, I'm going to blog. . . .

I feel guilty at times that I rush to get my little ones in bed almost everynight because I look forward to "adult" time, whatever that means. Tonight was no different - bath, pjs, brush teeth, floss, rinse with fluoride, potty, stories, prayer, hugs and kisses, tuck in bed - Sigh! We didn't get to scripture tonight - twice this week so far but who's counting?

After some wind down time, I take time to notice pieces of my children's world around me like Ella's little stuffed animals and the details in how they are set up (little ribbons on ponies' manes, baby wash cloths used for saddles on her horses, Barbie Rapunzel's hair piece used as a leash for her stuffed puppy, a necklace of hers wrapped around her unicorn to "accessorize" and all of them sitting around a tea set.) I see drawings from the day on the fridge of rainbows, flowers, butterflies, a family- our family. I see Aidan's toy cars all lined next to each other where he used his other car to jump over them. I see little fingerprints on my just wiped fridge, my sliding glass door and bathroom light switch - where my children have been. I reflect on the day and don't want it to end. It's just a day closer to leaving childhood. My dad counseled once when Nicholas was little to "treasure every precious moment with your children because they pass all too quickly." I don't do it enough.

I keep thinking things will slow down then I can really get into my children's world. They don't and they won't.

Nicholas is now 17. 17!! Today, he was excited to tell me about a car he drove (he drives the cars into the car wash at Super Sonic where he works) but I couldn't give him my undivided attention because I was running out the door. That moment is gone.

On a happier note, I treasure my little ones and big one and their example of Christ-like qualities. I reflect on the day and picture Aidan shouting at the top of his lungs a number of times today, "Mommy, I LIKE you!" His thing lately. It melts my heart! I see Nicholas giving me a hug because I feel bad that I can't listen to his car story and saying, "It's okay, Mom. Go. I'll talk to you later. " I see and hear Ella, saying, "Mommy, I can rub your neck for you," at lunch time while I take my hand and rub the back of always - sore neck while we eat lunch. I see Aidan running to me when I get home tonight saying, "Mommy, where were you? I missed you!" He's my "little man." I've called him this forever.

What would the world be like without children?

I feel so blessed and honored to be a mother. I feel so privileged and often in awe that Heavenly Father would give me stewardship over His children. I hope I can take the time to be better at treasuring these precious moments.