Vacationing in California Plus

So I have been planning a little visit to my family's this summer in Californina - I mean little as in short and sweet and before I knew it, it turned out be quite a vacation with a very happy surprise. Read on to see what it is.

We started with a visit to my mom's in San Jose where I get my long awaited dose of Korean food! We visited the Japanese Gardens there and he we are. At 73, my mom is still adventurous enough to climb a fairly steep and slick rock.

We spent one day in San Francisco. Here we are at Pier 39 in front of Alcatraz. Matt and the kids enjoyed some clam chowder in CA sourdough bread bowls while I devoured the fruit stands. I was saving my treat time for Ghiradelli chocolate and boy was it a treat or two or three . . .

I always like to visit this lefty store when I come but now I have a reason to! There are so many cool gadgets that make life for "Lefties" a little easiser.

We loved our walk around Golden Gate Park. This tree was truly beautiful. Ella reminds me of me when I was a little girl; when she sees a tree she just has to climb it.

We spent one day at Santa Cruz Beach and Board where we met my dad and nieces and nephews and rode dozens of rides. Oh, you know, we just went on dozens of rides, splashed in the ocean. The kids were bored stiff :)

We then spent a couple days at my dad's in Los Banos and spent more time in the water at a neighbor's pool. It is amazing how many wonderful people there are out there. We didn't even know these people and they invited our whole family over for a barbeque and swimming all because they wanted their little 5 year old to have some friends to play with.

I look forward to being with all the great people who have crossed my path of life if even just for a short time. The kids are loving every minute of this "California" visit Grandma and Grandpa thing.

And now for the SURPRISE!!

26 years after my baptism in 1985, my sweet mother decides to join the church. This is truly a happy moment. She has always felt something special about the church and particularly with the members. She especially felt something when she was here for Nicholas' mission farewell. Nicholas was quick to get started on his missionary work with Grandma and bore his testimony to her. She was already searching for truth and after her experiences here then having the missionaries sent to her in San Jose, she decided this was the right church.

This, of course, was the highlight. I love you, Mom!

And now for the end of our trip - Lake Tahoe . . .

Beach, water, sun - life doesn't get better than this.

Aidan spent so much time trying to touch these geese that just swam in the water with us. It was so cute to see his determination.

I absolutely love this photo of Ella. She is my little fish and monkey. She loves to swim and climb so of course when she saw this rock in the water she had to swim over to it. I caught her in this meditative pose and had to capture it.

Me and my beautiful girl.

We must have spent an hour getting this shot. Aidan spotted these squirrels near our spot on the beach and was determined to touch one but these guys were so shy regardless of the people they must have been used to being around. We got out some sunflower seeds and threw them to them. They were so darling to watch as they would hold the seed to their mouth and shell it. We were able to finally get one of them to trust Ella and have one literally eat out of her hand. She was in heaven and Aidan, well Aidan cried. He wanted to be the ONE but we weren't about to spend another hour at this point. He got over it.

Hooray for summer!!

My Giving Tree

This entry is dedicated to all the beautiful "giving trees" to little boys and girls all over the world.

I've been thinking about trees lately. It all started with the book I'm reading (which is not showing on my blog because I can't seem to find the image for it) called "Flipped" by

Wendelin Van Draanen which is now out on video I heard.

What is it about trees that just seems to bring a sense of serentity, calm, connection with the earth, freedom and for many wonderful childhood memories?

In the book 'Flipped,' Juli, a 7th grader discovers this beautiful tree and spends hours in it's branches, basking in it's beauty and the peace and getaway it gives her. It's no surprise she gets quite attached to the tree. Unfortunately, one day "tree choppers" come by one morning while she is waiting for the bus to school to chop it down. She stays up in this tree as that is where she was waiting for the bus as long as she possibly can before knowing it is a lost battle. and climbs down only to run crying to her home. She actually misses school a couple days.

I connected with Juli over the next few weeks as she mourned for the death of one of her "best" friends.

When I was a little girl, we had this perfect tree (it was perfect to me) right out in front of our house. It wasn't very big or beautiful or even unique. It was just a tree. But, it was perfect for climbing, and sitting and playing countless imaginary games in. My two brothers and I had our specific sitting spots that had our names on them. Mine face our house and formed a perfect "Y" for my behind. Often times, we played King and Queen. Of course, I was the queen, Richie was the king and little Anthony was the prince. Boy, did I love that tree. I remember crying in that tree when I was sad, hiding in that tree when I wanted to be alone and confiding in that tree when my mom just didn't understand me.

Oh, the leaves! They grew in a very interesting way. They started, as all leaves do, in the form of a bulb. But the bulb blossomed layer by layer into a white flower like shape. If you caught the growing process at the right time, you could actually use the "heart" to draw with on the sidewalk and it would leave a purple ink. Oh how I loved our tree and I know it loved me.

That love affair ended abruptly for me one day when I came home from school to see that it was completely chopped down to nothing, barely a stump. I didn't understand. Who would do this (it was the city) and why would anyone cut down a living, breathing beautiful existence? Questions of "why," how" ran through my head for what seemed like an endless cycle. I cried for days maybe even weeks. My tree existed only in my memories. Who would I go to now when I was sad or happy or mad or ?

Of course, I got older and busier and slowly my tree memories faded. Somewhat.

What is is about trees?

When I was a single mom , Nicholas and I lived in a townhome (end unit) next to the cutest little stream and next to it was - a wonderful tree! Perfect.

I loved watching Nicholas take out his sword and play sword fighting as the weeping branches swayed in the wind to combat him. I smiled when I saw him put his arms around it's trunk. I listened as he made karate sounds kicking his opponent. I remembered my tree as I witnessed him falling in love with his tree.

Ironically and regretfully, Nicholas experienced the same exact event as me.

One day, we came home from work/school to find his friend- gone. Taken.

The look on his face said it all and my heart sank. The question still lingers: Why?

It may sound silly but it really was, for both of us, a mourning for the loss of a friend. The perfect friend. A giving friend. It didn't take. It gave and gave and gave. It gave us love, listening ears, playtime, quiet time, comfort, peace, serenity and beautiful forever memories.

The next time you see a child thoughtlessly hanging on tree branch about to break. Stop them. Remind them that it is alive.

May we respect all of God's creations.

He's Gone - Dedicated to my stalwart son, Nicholas

I realize many of my fellow blogger friends have no idea that I brought my blog back to life but this truly is for me. My journal, my release, my memories. My entry is quite candid.

I can't believe he's gone. Nicholas entered the MTC last Wed., March 18th to serve in the El Salvador West/Belize Mission. I'm not going to lie. This was extremely difficult for me. I was not prepared to feel the pain I did last Wednesday. Not at all.


The drive to the MTC was a little quiet, mostly because I was crying quietly, trying to fight it and not show anyone the emotions of having my son leave me for two years. I thought, "How in the world am I going to do the drop off? I'm going to lose it!" It was raining that day and when we drove in, there was a sea of black and white (dark suits, white shirts and black umbrellas). The system was quite orderly and we were directed among other cars to our "station" by a number of chaperones. There, there was a "Host" holding an umbrella waiting for Nicholas at our station. We opened the doors, he got his luggage, we had time to take one quick photo and they whisked him away. That was it. There wasn't time to cry or think about goodbye in those short minutes. It was all so fast and all for the better.


There was this immense emptiness with his absence that day when we returned home. Everyone could feel it. I was not a good mother to my little ones and probably took advantage of my mother being here for a visit. I curled up in bed and cried my eyes out. I had not cried like that since I was a little girl, you know the type where you actually hyperventillate because it hurts so much? I thought, "I can't do this. Two years?" Yes, everyone says he's doing the right thing and of course I know this but it doesn't make missing my son any easier. Two years of this? No way.


There is a void in our home. Nicholas is truly one of my best friends. We laugh together, we tease one another, we get on each other's nerves and are honest about it. We watch TV shows together. We philosophize together. We cry together. We argue with one another or you can call it disagree. We listen to music together. We share our tesimonies with each other.

I miss him so much.


I was a wreck. If you were to see me Thursday morning, the day after the MTC drop off, you would have known - puffy eys, blotchy face, etc. Thursday night was an interesting night. I went down to the basement where Nicholas has his room and I smelled him. Boys have this distinct scent - not necessarily bad but distinct. I got really nostaligic. I know. It had only been 1 1/2 days. I went to his room to look for something and I saw two t- shirts in his hamper. What did I do? Well I picked one up of course and took in a big smell. I completely lost it once again. Then I picked up the other shirt and did the same thing. Sigh . . . it was a good cry. I needed that last heavy cry. I stayed and sat in his room for awhile touching his things, looking at books on his bookshelf; some of which I had given him over the years. I could see the transition right there in front of me from boyhood to manhood. It brought a smile to my face. I could recalled certain books at certain stages of life like Grimms Fairy Tales, Captiain Underpants, Beverly Cleary, Stuart Little, Madeleine L'Engle, Tennis Shoes and the Nephits series, church books - Boys Who Became Prophets, CS Lewis, Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code, Wuthering Heights, and on and on.


When I finally heard from him on Saturday, my world changed. For I knew what transpired since he was whisked away. Visualizing his day brought me comfort and peace. Imagine not hearing a word from your child or know what he is doing for 3 days. Silly, I know but after this first letter, I am stronger. I have asked Heavenly Father to give me strenghth to be a good missionary mom. It is amazing how quickly this prayer has been answered. My missing him now is different. It is healthy and with the reassurance that we will all be taken care of. His service to the people of El Salvador and Belize is paramount. I know the people in El Salvador need him more than me at this time. (I write this with tears flowing down my face).


Fridays are P-Days. Fridays and Saturdays are now my happiest days of the week. Tomorrow I will get an email and Saturday a letter.


I love you , my son. I am proud of you. I honor you.

Mom



Drop off at MTC with my sweet mother who is not a member of the church but we are praying for it. Ella and Aidan, failed to mention, also cried their little hearts off this day. Aidan, 5, cried laying on my chest on the couch until he finally fell asleep. Ella, the brave, quiet one, cried by herself in her room until I came to find her. Bless her little heart.

At the Provo Temple with Granparents Dan and Marianne Shelton, his dad, Todd and Matt and I. Oh what a happy day!

I'm Back!!

All right, so it has been a long hiatus and I really debated on whether or not to "resurrect" my blog. I decided to resurrect it. There are just too many experiences, good and bad, to share and learn from. In addition, I miss being in touch with my friends and their lives.

This time around, I think I am going to be a little more "raw" in my blogging, mostly for myself, of course, as this medium provides a great outlet and will help me be more regular in my journaling.

Too many things to share but the biggest, life changing experience taking place right now is sending my first born on an LDS mission to West El Salvador/Belize. I have many mixed emotions, mostly positive, however, I have to admit the simple mom in me doesn't want to let him go. Everyone says he's doing the right thing. It's what you want for him and yes, these are all true but it doesn't make missing him any easier. I already catch myself tearing up in the car imagining no verbal/physical contact for two years. What am I going to do?

Nicholas and I have a special bond, having been alone for seven years (his age 3 to 10) before I re-married. He has become one of my most favorite people in the world. I love talking to him, listening to him, laughing with him, debating with him, sharing ideas with him, getting his opinion on things and just hanging out together. I will miss his spontaeous "I love you" texts from college. I will miss his big bear hugs. I will miss watching him play so tenderly with Ella and Aidan. Mostly, I will miss the feeling in our home when he is here.

Those of you without teenagers yet, yes, you are groomed as a parent to let go. I never thought I could endure this chapter in my life when Nicholas was little. I always thought I would just die. However, little by little they let go and you just adjust your parenting and back off, hoping for the best. I can't believe I will be without him for two entire years. I can barely handle not hearing from him more than two days and have to send him a quick text mostly to remind him that I'm here. I have almost exactly 17 more days with this incredible person before we drive him to the MTC, May 18th 1:30 pm. It will be very bittersweet day for me and I may need to crawl under my covers and close the world for a few hours. If you see me around and I look like I have been crying, I have.

It's good to be back.

So You Think You Can Dance and My Pump Class

You "So You Think You Can Dance" fans can appreciate this posting. As most of you know, I teach fitness classes at a few local gyms. After one of my pump classes on a Monday, I kept looking at a girl that appeared new to my class but seemed familiar (she was wearing a black baseball cap so it wasn't easy to identify her). Anyway, I decided to go up to her and who seemed like her mother. As I got closer, I recognized her and said, Oh my goodness, are you Randy?" She nodded. We chatted a little bit. She was so sweet. It was fun having her.


So, two weeks later, who should appear at the same class - Ashleigh. Too bad her hubby didn't come with her! :)

Girls vs Boys

Matt tries to give the kids "Daddy" dates, but this time we decided to have a girls night out and a boys night out. I took Ella out and Matt took Aidan out. It makes me laugh to see the huge differences in our genders and how much we love doing what we do as girls/women and boys/men.

So, Ella wanted to see Princess and the Frog, well she really wanted to go ice skating, however, I was afraid of slipping on the ice and OUCH that would not be good with my back situation. So, we got treats, went to the movies (gotta love the $1 or should I say $2 theatre now) and basically had a good time. But the fun was just beginning for us as we were going home to play Barbies next. One of the girls was getting married and all the other girls were busy preparing for the wedding! It was actually quite fun - memories! We then got into our jammies, laid in Ella's bed and just talked and laughed. I shared stories of my childhood with her and she just listened, laughed and asked questions. It was truly a bonding moment for us girls.

The boys you ask? Monster Truck Jam! Aidan was truly in heaven and did not stop talking abou this for days. Unfortunately, we only have one photo of him because Matt couldn't get him to turn around from the trucks to pose. See, he's not happy to turn around for this photo.

Personally, I enjoyed my date much better but if I was to take Aidan, I know I would have lived it through his eyes and enjoyed the noise, dirt, and mammoth trucks.

Vrooom!

You know, they're actually pretty amazing . . . I love our differences.

Three Cheers For Nicholas!

Nicholas is going to BYU! Woot! Woot!

BYU took longer than normal to get back to applicants due to record high applicants as well as declines.

I am so excited for him as truly some of my very best memories are at BYU. Yay!